Shooting my gun!

 

Man what? Man who? Today I reupholstered my kitchen chairs, all by my “big-girl-self!” Yei! They already had an antique shabby chic look to them–I just gave them a spin. My fabric was Paris inspired because of my recent obsession. The pastels, the romanticism. Ahhhh, one of these days I’ll get there.

 

The job?? It was easssy! Well, actually. I purchased (a cheap $11) stapler from Home Depot because I figured that reupholstering some chairs shouldn’t be too hard–nothing heavy duty needed. That was until the stapler began to talk back to me. It said “no, no, no, maybe, nah, not hungry, not yet,” then it regurgitated back into the air all of my staples. They flung across the room. I shook my head and kept talking to myself.

 

I drove all the way back to Home Depot for the second time without thought because I consistently purchase defective items. I brought with me both the staple gun I’d purchased and the staple gun my friend let me borrow. I asked the guy down the aisle for help; he was already staring down at my bag. He had those black wood like-piercings in his ear so that’s really all I can remember about him.

 

He quickly grabbed the first staple gun from me and loaded it while explaining to me how often things are easier than we make them out to be. I’m guessing the flustered look on my face gave me away.

 

“Naw, you’re good,” he said as I apologize and thank him for being able to get the whole jizz working and again after I thank him for being so sweet after I had to ask him for something so seemingly simple.

 

I handle the rest of my business for the day and return back to my reupholstery project. I may not know something but I will gladly find out. Hmph!

After I got the hang of my self-taught DIY, I start going on the trigger like it’s the unforgivable. I fire off about 20 staples in the back of the poor chair- tightly wrapping the beige fabric over the front like a Christmas present. I started with the back of the other chair and found it to be very therapeutic. The entire time I’m feeling stronger and more empowered. So easily amused, I know.

Sometimes I wish my life were the staple gun neatly shooting perfects into a chair being reupholstered. Unfortunately my life is actually the poor chair. All cushion, no legs.